Tuesday, July 28, 2009

My story

My story starts when I was a junion in high school. That summer before my senior year I started eating really healthy. I grew up in a really healthy family and I was 115lbs. I was a normal girl and then one day I thought I was fat and this came from taking my thyroid pills. I was born with hypothyroidism(low metabolism). So I started running 8 miles a day out of nowhere and eating basically fruit and vegetables only. My mom didn't think I was that seroious about running so she didn't teach me anything or get me running shoes, I ran on cheerleading shoes:(
I never once looked at a scale I just ate and ran all summer. I didn't hang out with friends and I alienated myself.
This picture above is my first day of senior year. That night my family finally confronted me. I also want to say that I never intended to be anorexic or lose 30 pounds. I never knew it got that seroius, until my mom made me get on a scale and it said 85lbs. My mom started crying and I still say myself as normal and normal sized, although I was always weak and fatigued.
From that night onward I was told to EAT, EAT and EAT. My school counselors, coaches and friends called me bones and said to eat whatever and whenever I wanted to gain my weight back.
Fast forward I wish I had more support and knowledge at that point to gain my weight back healthfully because all that EATING turned into exercise bulemia. And from 2002 until now I eat a lot, whatever, whenever never just 3 meals and snacks, just whenever and never really recovered.
So for this blog I really just want to get back into sync and go through that process with help from others blogs and comments from other amazing women with my same problems or without.
It's hard to tell this becuase the only one who knows of my struggles still is my husband. My family thinks that I went back to being "normal" a long time ago.
I hope to open up to family one day, but feel I need to heal myself first. I've come a long way and survived college and marraige.
I also do want to show my weights and where I've been
2002 High School 85lbs --> 110 by high school graduation
2003 started college @ 105
2004 sophmore year I jumped to 130 at my highest
2005 junior year I realized that I wasn't healthy and lost 20 lbs to bring me back down to 110lbs
2006-2008 maintained 110
2009 down to 105-110 (fluctuates)

So I hope this helps other understand me and my blog. I welcome any comments and love to hear from others!


P.S. Recipe for Chocolate Raspberry Cookies
1 cup butter, softened
3/4 cup sugar
3/4 cup brown sugar
2 eggs
3/4 cup semisweet chcolate chips, melted and cooled
1/2 cup raspberries, pureed
3 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 tsp. baking soda
3/4 tsp. salt
1 cup white chocolate chips
In a mixing bowl, cream butter and sugars. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Beat in melted chcolate and raspberries. Combine flour, baking soda, and salt, gradually add to creamed mixture. Stir in white chocolate. Drop by teaspoons 2 inches apart onto anungreased baking sheet. Bake @ 475 for 10-12 minutes.


Anonymous said...

wow you have an amazing story- thanks for sharing! sounds like you've definitely come a long way!

And that recipe sounds amazing!

Anonymous said...

Wow I stumbled on your blog from Holly's. I feel like this is something that happens a lot with young women. It's not really seen as a deep-seated issue, and just taken as.. okay gain weight and you'll be better. But it's way more than that and it's something you recover from the inside out. I wish you so much success and I really hope this blog helps you get back in sync with your body.

Much love,

Holly said...

my dear leianna...thank you for sharing! i think doing things like this makes it so easy to help other because we all have issues, and many are food-related. i think you seem like you have made a lot of progress and even though you still struggle, you WILL be an inspiration to many!


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